Dog Mom v. Human Mom: Who’s “Got it Easier”?

By Tamira Thayne

mothersday18

 

It’s that sacred day of the year. You know the one—the one where we moms get to do whatever it is WE want to do. We get to be completely selfish, laze around in bed, and make inordinate demands on our family, like “Clean up your own mess”, or “Run out to the liquor store and bring Mommy a half gallon of whatever’s on sale, there’s a good lad.”

That kinda thing.

Except for some reason I’m already on my second load of laundry and contemplating whether I really DO want to vacuum the floor on Mother’s Day. [Pretty sure the answer is NO…Yes, it’s NO.]

As I was peeling away the hair-covered sheets from the dog and cat beds—and trying to contain the runoff within said sheets so it didn’t further hairify the floor—I contemplated how much of said fur was about to be deposited into my washing machine.

I acknowledged to the person I talk to in my head who is also me that I’m gonna have to make sure the washing machine is thoroughly sanitized before the hubby notices. [He likes to pretend the animal laundry gets magically poofed to the laudromat so our own machines don’t get sullied—we maintain this fantasy as part of our peaceful household.]

brynnan and bridgelo

The author’s daughter with a blind foster dog

Which got me to pondering…is it easier being a Mom to dogs and/or cats or to those of the human persuasion?

 

Let’s compare, getting right into the thick of it. The, ooey, gooey thickness of it…

Wretching. Horking. Vomiting.

Dog & Cat: OH, THE HORROR! The puke…the sound of which can strike fear into the hearts of many an intrepid dog or cat mom. You know that wretched wretching noise of which I speak….there you are, dreaming about Timothy Olyphant (Justified, not Santa Clarita Diet, although he is a very supportive husband in that role), when suddenly there it is. Yak…yak…YAKKKKK!

But where is it? Is it in your bed? On the floor? Between you and the bathroom? Can it wait until morning, or will you forget about it and definitely step in it then?

[Ponder the problem. If you’re one of those lucky moms, you roll over, go back to sleep, and vow to investigate at the break of dawn.]

Kid: “Mommy! I don’t feel so good.” Rubs belly. “I think I’m gonna frow up.” Rushes for the bathroom…

Odds are about 80/20 they won’t make it. At least when they miss you know exactly where it is, and sometimes it’s even on the bathroom floor, which means there’s not even carpeting. Score.

Plus, you’re telling me there’s a CHANCE.

Point=Kid

Grocery Shopping

Dog & Cat: “You’re leaving us here? At home? While you go to the place with all the delicacies, and the smells, and the beautiful decisions over what to bring home to this prison?”

You, ruefully: “I’m so sorry, my sweethearts. I will miss you incessantly, but alas, there are laws against bringing you with me into the grocery store, which we are of course greatly offended by and will make plans to protest another day.”

Kid: “I hate the grocery store. Why do I have to go? Ooh, can I have that? Mom!!!! But I want it! I need it. All the other kids have it.” [Slips said item into cart while you compare green beans.]

You, harried. “Why is it a big fight every time we come here? We have a LIST.” You clutch the list and thrust it emphatically and victoriously into the air.

[Kid is umimpressed. Throws him/herself onto the floor when you remove the item from the cart and screams that you’re the worst parent EVER. Repeat.]

Point=Dog & Cat

Play Dates at the Park

Dog [If you have any living gray matter, you won’t be taking your cat to the park—EVER]: You briefly ponder on the way to the park why you have a death wish. Rufus is pacing the back seat with excitement, spittle and fur swishing throughout the vehicle because you just had to open your sun roof, and even your iced tea has now sprouted.

Yeah, there was that one time you took the dog to the park and there was just the two other nice dogs and everyone got along and the other dog dad was actually hot and nice. 

But that was only one time. The other 3,098 times your dog peed on the sexy guy’s leg, fought with two dobermans and a rottweiler, and ended up with a $3098 vet bill and the cone of shame. You’re now facing two civil lawsuits because your dog’s an asshole, and you’ve had to move cities three times to find new dog parks.

Kid: You briefly ponder the weather, and hope this beautiful spring day will hold up. Did I forget my book? Darn it. Well, I’m sure I can find something on Kindle Unlimited to read.

I hope Betty Sue is there with that delightful Kenny. He’s such a good influence on Ralphie. I sure hope that Damian isn’t there, he tugged on little Kate’s hair braids the last time and made her cry. What a kerfuffle. I’m so glad I remembered some healthy snacks for Ralphie to share with his friends.

Point=Kid

Swearing

Dog and cat: You’re in your first real home, a young married couple, and fresh out of the military. You have a mouth like a sailor, but it’s all good, because Mom and Dad are five states away, and they aren’t technologically savvy enough to plant bugs in your house to monitor you from afar. You’re FREE!

You rush to the local rescue group to adopt Fluffy and Kirby, because you know you’re mature enough now, and Mom taught you how to care for your best friends. You pass the home visit with flying colors, and get that exciting call to come pick up your babies.

While driving home with your precious cargo, one of THOSE drivers cuts you off, and then stops right in front of you. “Why, you sonuvabeeyotch! You crazy mothereffer! I’m gonna shove this car so far up your rectum you’ll be spitting steel by suppertime!” you scream, really warming up to your topic.

Then, guiltily, you remember Fluffy and Kirby sitting patiently in the back, hoping this will be their FUREVER home this time—not like that last one.

You give them a tentative smile, and they look back at you with eyes full of hope and love, saying only two words: “Ruff” and “meow.”

Your secret is safe.

Kid: You’ve been in your new home for three years now, and, Thank Dog for your good genes, have managed to pop out a two-fer, TWIN boys! Waahoo! You love spending time with your sons, and regularly take the two year olds with you on jaunts about town.

While driving home with your precious cargo, one of THOSE drivers cuts you off, and then stops right in front of you. “Why, you sonuvabeeyotch! You crazy mothereffer! I’m gonna shove this car so far up your rectum you’ll be spitting steel by suppertime!” you scream, really warming up to your topic.

Then, guiltily, you remember Keenan and Keefer in the back seat, soaking up the atmosphere like the little sponges they are.

You give them a tentative smile, and they look back at you with eyes full of vinegar, and and then at each other, before screaming: “Sumbish! Mavaeffa! Sumbish! Mavaeffa!”

Horrified, you rush home to put on Clifford The Big Red Dog before they memorize the gutter talk you’ve inadvertently taught them, and realize your word salad freedom has come to an end.

Point=Dog & Cat

It’s a Tie!

Foster Doggie Insanity

Foster Doggie Insanity: Tips & Tales to Keep your Kool as a Doggie Foster Parent

Truth be told: I could go on all day with this…and I’m sure you too can think of lots of fun comparisons. For some moms, there will be a definite pro/con list that lands to one side or the other of the pet/kid argument.

Having been lucky enough to birth two humans and become a mom or foster mom for hundreds of dogs and cats during my years of active rescue, I can tell you that, despite my jokes and lamentations, I’ve loved them all.

Now that my daughter is an adult, and I am down to life with one dog and six cats, I can say with some degree of certainty that the human child has become easier.

For example: Today’s Mother’s Day, and I still had to get up and take care of our companions and feed the outside critters, birds and squirrels. My old cat Una still yapped incessantly until he got his morning treats, and the dog still refused to do his business in the rain.

But Bryn got up at five, went to her job at the bakery, then brought me home two cookies and is taking me to dinner. I can drink wine with dinner and know I have a driver to cart my buttocks safely home afterward.

Yet, a cat is snuggled on my lap as I type, and the dog lays contentedly at my feet. And therefore I acknowledge—to the voice in my head that is also me—that I am, indeed, ONE LUCKY MOTHER.

Happy Mother’s Day, from myself and the rest of the authors at Who Chains You Publishing. Whether you’re a mom to humans or to the fur-covered variety, we wish you a little time to sit back, put your feet up, and read a good book today. Here’s to you! http://www.whochainsyou.com.

About the Author

mommybanmanlo3Tamira Thayne is an author, animal activist, and the founder and former CEO of Dogs Deserve Better, a nonprofit organization seeking an end to dog chaining.

She is also the founder of Who Chains You Books, publishing titles for those who believe people—and animals—deserve to be free. She is the author of Foster Doggie Insanity, Happy Dog Coloring Book, Capitol in Chains, The Wrath of Dog, The King’s Tether, and the co-editor of Unchain My Heart and Rescue Smiles.

Tamira lives by a river in the woods of northern Virginia, with her husband, daughter, one dog, six cats, and hundreds of outside birds and critters she adores from afar.

Advertisements

Release: Culpeper County, VA Publishing Company Wins Best Book Award for Animal Rescue Tales

RS-Maxwellaward

AMISSVILLE, VA (February 23, 2018)—A Culpeper County, Virginia book publisher, Who Chains You Books, was awarded the Maxwell medal in the Best Book: Human/Animal Bond category for their title Rescue Smiles: Favorite Animal Stories of Love and Liberation.

The award, presented in February by the Dog Writers Association of America, is the first for the young publishing company, which was founded in 2016 by Tamira Thayne—animal activist, book designer, author, and founder and former CEO of Dogs Deserve Better.

Since its inception, the company has already grown to 24 titles from various authors, with more in the works.

Those who love both animals and books now have an up and coming publishing company to fulfill their needs, as Who Chains You Books releases only books that promote the notion that both people AND animals deserve to be free.

According to their mission, they seek “to amplify the voices of the animals through the empowerment of animal lovers, activists, and rescuers to write and publish books elevating the status of animals in society.”

“As a small publisher—only 1.5 years into our efforts to put out books by and for animal lovers, activists, and rescuers—every small milestone counts. Our first award tells us our work CAN make a difference, CAN bring awareness for animals and those who love them and work on their behalf. It brings us hope, and the will to keep going,” said Thayne.

“I am so excited to be filling this niche, because my passion lies with the animals and those who serve them,” Thayne continued. “Animal lovers need a place where they can read stories from like-minded individuals, stories that can delight, enchant, and inspire them to do more to save the animals in their community.”

Who Chains You Publishing offers books in a variety of genres, from children’s picture books to personal memoirs, educational books, and young adult fictional series.

To ensure books can make a meaningful difference for the animals, wholesale pricing is available to non-profits, humane educators, and indie bookstores.

For more information on current and upcoming titles from Who Chains You Publishing, visit www.whochainsyou.com. Tamira Ci Thayne can be reached at info@whochainsyou.com.

5 Questions with “The Kitty with the Itty-Bitty Tail” Narrator Stephanie Belinda Quinn

kittycoveraudio-loHere at Who Chains You Books, we are always in awe of the talent of our book narrators, and Stephanie Belinda Quinn—narrator of The Kitty with the Itty-Bitty Tail—is no exception.

She gives the audience a sneak peek into her world on her website: “I’m a word-slinger and all-around dippy gal who creates voices chock-full of goosepimply warm-and-fuzzies, soaked through with bust-a-gut-funny. If you and your kids have video games, there’s a good chance you’ve spent time with me in your house and you didn’t even know it.

I lend a hand to mega-talented producers, directors, production companies, game developers, animation studios, toy makers, publishers, ad agencies, and other need-a-great-voice types worldwide by creating character voices that attract die-hard fans so they can make major moolah doing what they love to do.”

We asked her five questions, so we could get to know her better, and now you can too.

Here’s what she told us:

StephanieQuinn1. How did you get into book narration, and how long have you been doing it?

I combined my love of theater with my desire for a home business, and decided voice acting was perfect. I built a recording studio in my home, learned audio production, and was in business. I’ve been at it for about seven years now.

2. How many books have you narrated?

Eighty-three. (What? Wow!)

LittleAngelInRecordingStudio

Stephanie’s kitty Little Angel hanging out in the studio with her

3. What made you choose The Kitty with the Itty-Bitty Tail to narrate?

Children’s projects are my specialty, and I love kitty-cats. Plus I knew it would be an awesome book to record the second I saw the title. ( I mean, come on!) When I read the story, said awesomeness was confirmed, and I was thrilled to get started. It’s a great story.

4. What other fun projects have you taken on with your narration skills?

I specialize in audiobooks, video games, animation, and toys, so pretty much everything I record is fun. I especially like voicing animals and other non-humans (unicorns, space aliens, fairies) because I get to be really creative. I voiced a crab once that still makes me giggle. 

5. What do you do to cut loose and have fun, besides narration?

I have a kitty of my own ( Little Angel, see her above) and a wonderful husband who both cut loose with me. I’m also a tap dancer, artist, musician, stargazer, and metal-detecting treasure hunter.

To learn more about Stephanie, and see the other fun and creative projects she’s worked on, visit her site at this link: http://stephaniebelindaquinn.com/

To get your copy of The Kitty with the Itty-Bitty Tail in Audiobook, Paperback, or Kindle, visit this link: https://www.amazon.com/Kitty-Itty-Bitty-Tail/dp/B079P75MLV/

Our Maxwell Award for “Rescue Smiles” Arrived Today!

RS-Maxwellaward

You know how it is when you win your first award…you wait and wait for it to come in the mail, tell yourself it’s not a big deal, know it probably doesn’t matter to anyone but you, anyway…

Yet you still just can’t wait.

That was us, waiting for our Maxwell Award to come for Rescue Smiles: Favorite Animal Stories of Love and Liberation, which took the award for Best Book: Human/Animal Bond.

Because to us it DOES mean something. As a small publisher—only 1.5 years into our efforts to put out books by and for animal lovers, activists, and rescuers—every small milestone counts.

Our first award tells us our work CAN make a difference, CAN bring awareness for animals and those who love them and work on their behalf.

It brings us hope, and the will to keep going.

And for that we are extremely grateful.

So thank you, Maxwell Award, and those at the Dog Writers Association of America for reading our book and giving the nod to our efforts.

Thanks to our editors, Heather Leughmyer and Tamira Thayne, who pulled stories together for the book, and are already in the planning stages for our second one, More Rescue Smiles.

And most of all thanks to our story authors for trusting us with your tales and letting us share them with the world.

The book is available in Paperback, Kindle, and Audiobook, at this link: https://www.amazon.com/Rescue-Smiles-Favorite-Stories-Liberation/dp/1946044105/

We hope you’ll read it, enjoy it, and pass it along.

Want to submit your own rescue story for More Rescue Smiles? We’d love to see it! Submit here: http://whochainsyou.com/mystoryform.html

The Kitty With the Itty-Bitty Tail—a Great Humane Education AND Anti-Bulling Tool for Classrooms and Family Reading Time

kittycoverlo-dropJust Released, in its 3rd Edition: The Kitty with the Itty-Bitty Tail, by Sandra Biersdorfer.

“Look who’s coming down the hall! It’s Stubby Nubby, her tail so small!”

Most of us have experienced being made fun of or called names that hurt our feelings. Meet Ethel Kitty who doesn’t like being called names—like “Stubby Nubby”—just because she has a smaller tail than the other cats at school. Read along in this tale of tails as the new cat in town helps Ethel realize she is special despite her “shortcomings” and teaches her how to stand up to bullies.

In its third edition, author Sandra Biersdorfer adds playful song lyrics and talks about the real Ethel who inspired the tale. Perfect for ages 7 and up, The Kitty with the Itty-Bitty Tail will delight readers big and small, and fit flawlessly into school humane education and bullying programs.

The book is currently available in both Paperback and Kindle, and will soon be out in Audio, too.

Buy in Paperback | Buy on Kindle

ISBN-13: 978-1-946044-20-4

About the Author

authorphotoSandra Biersdorfer, a native of East Texas, has been an avid reader since childhood. Some of her favorite books are the Nancy Drew mysteries and The Little House on the Prairie series. She is an advocate for reading and enjoys reading to children and visiting schools as much as possible to share her love of reading and becoming an author.

Sandra currently lives in Nacogdoches, Texas, with her two feline fur babies Shadow, an adopted male black domestic short hair, and Ethel. Ethel is a rescue kitty, too, and is the subject of Sandra’s second published children’s book, The Kitty with the Itty-Bitty Tail, because she does indeed have an itty-bitty tail. Her first children’s book, Nana’s Banana, was published in 2014, and her third, Papa’s Pumpkin, was published in 2017.

Sandra enjoys reading, writing, watching movies, and spending time with family and friends including her two grown children. Her son is a Math major at Stephen F. Austin State University, and her daughter is a high school English teacher in Katy ISD.

Buy in Paperback | Buy on Kindle

ISBN-13: 978-1-946044-20-4

It’s Here! Rescue Smiles: Favorite Animal Stories of Love and Liberation is Now Available

You can color us excited…Rescue Smiles is HERE!

Rescue Smiles: Favorite Animal Stories
of Love and Liberation

Edited by Heather Leughmyer and Tamira Thayne

The heart of the animal rescue world lies in its stories—of freedom, of love, and of sacrifice by those who not only acknowledge but embrace the human-animal bond and its wondrous gifts.

In our first rescue story compilation, Who Chains You Books is pleased to offer a look into the emotional lives of rescuers and the living beings they hold dear. Join us for the heartwarming anecdotes, as Cinnamon steals Spice’s puppies, Alice steals everyone’s shoes, and a host of other animals conspire to steal our hearts.

Through these tales, you’ll get a behind-the-scenes peek into the relationships between rescuers and not only dogs and cats, but horses, goats, pigs, rats, mice, and birds, in this delightful first installment of Rescue Smiles.

We hope you’re as captivated by the kinship between human and animal as we are. With contributions by: Laura Koerber, Tamira Thayne, Reg Green, Heather Leughmyer, Joe Maringo, Patti Lawson, Sarah Barnett, Barb Michael, Sunny Aris, Christopher Barnekov, Gayla Evans, Kat Soul, Rachel Ogden, Melody Whitworth, and Liz Woloski.

Buy on Amazon | Buy on Kindle | Buy from Createspace and $1 Will be Donated to our Charity of the Year, Unchained Melodies

The book is available wholesale for animal rescue nonprofits and independent bookstores. Visit our wholesale page to learn more and place your order today.